“Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” is a song written and recorded by the British new wave band Culture Club. Released as a single in September 1982 from the group’s platinum-selling debut album Kissing to Be Clever, it was the band’s first UK No. 1 hit.
The band came up with the soft reggae beat and put the song together when they found they had some spare studio time during a recording session for the Peter Powell show on BBC Radio One. Their bass player Mikey Craig brought a Caribbean influence to the band’s sound.
Boy George surprised a lot of people who met him in person, as his substantial size and manly speaking voice belied his feminine appearance. At least one line in this song addresses how perceptions can be wrong. He told Musician magazine in October 1983: “There’s a line from ‘Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?’ that says, ‘Everything’s not what you see,’ which is basically what I believe. It’s kind of boring when things are just what they are.”
“Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” was the third single released in Europe by Culture Club and their debut release in the United States and Canada. The song was picked up by BBC Radio 2 and became a UK No. 1 single for three weeks in October 1982. It entered the American Pop chart the week ending 4 December 1982, hit No. 1 in Cash Box magazine, and held at No. 2 for three weeks on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in March and April 1983 (kept from the No. 1 spot by the massive success of Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean”). The single hit No. 1 in Canada. It was also number one in Australia.
This was Culture Club’s first major success, after their first two releases, “White Boy” and “I’m Afraid of Me” charted lower in the UK at No. 114 and No. 100 respectively. According to Boy George, it was their last chance to get an album deal.
At first, Boy George didn’t want this released as a single because it was such a personal song for him. When it was released, it hit #1 in 23 countries.
Boy George told Q magazine September 2008: “Our first two singles failed. That single was our last chance. But I threatened to leave if (the label) released it. I didn’t think it was us; it wasn’t club music. It wouldn’t stand up to Spandau Ballet. But I was wrong. It was so personal in a way that our other songs weren’t. It was about Jon. All the songs were about him, but they were more ambiguous.”
The song rose rapidly in the UK charts after the group’s first appearance on Top of the Pops, which resulted in George’s androgynous style of dress and sexual ambiguity making newspaper headlines. The group were only asked to appear on Top of the Pops the night before the show, after Shakin’ Stevens pulled out.
In a retrospective review, Allmusic journalist Jose F. Promis described “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” as “a simple masterpiece, resonating with an ache that harked back to the classic torch songs of yesteryear.”
In 2007, Boy George said that the song was “not just about Culture Club’s drummer Jon Moss, my boyfriend at the time. It was about all the guys I dated at that time in my life.”
LYRICS
Give me time to realize my crime
Let me love and steal
I have danced inside your eyes
How can I be real
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry
Precious kisses words that burn me
Lovers never ask you why
In my heart the fire is burning
Choose my color find a star
Precious people always tell me
That’s a step a step too far
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry
Words are few
I have spoken
I could waste a thousand years
Wrapped in sorrow, words are token
Come inside and catch my tears
You’ve been talking but believe me
If it’s true you do not know
This boy loves without a reason
I’m prepared to let you go
If it’s love you want from me
Then take it away
Everything’s not what you see it’s over again
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry
